Ok, I did try the poetry thing. You know, for my Pulitzer. I was going to win it. But I tried writing poetry again and it simply isn't happening. I always saw it as a discipline related to what I was academically good at, therefore something I would be able to do. Then again that might be like asking a Chemistry student to make fireworks. Or some less shit analogy. I'm not saying I wouldn't like, in some capacity, to write. But poetry isn't for me - not even with that book Stephen Fry wrote that teaches you how to write poetry.
The following paragraph is written fully in the understanding that I am starting to channel Bridget Jones if she was more worried about her career and less worried about showing her fanny to Hugh Grant:
It's quite disheartening actually, as I'm still trying to find a bit of direction. Graduate schemes, careers, actual current work. I am of course giving in the Max Factor (see previous posting), but the enormous number of people running for the position (something I wasn't previously aware of) makes that unlikely. I am quite aware that most reasonable people don't expect you to have a career plan laid out by the time you're 21 but having some idea might help. Also, as third year progressed, the idea I had in First Year, that I was a shoe-in for a 2.1. has evaporated. We're now looking at a 2.1. just about, if things go according to plan next semester, but quite possibly a 2.2.
If that was in a more obviously employable degree, or from Durham, I'd be a bit less worried. But university is a troubling place, that tells you how very special you are, before spitting you out the other end with a hundred thousand other people with a 2nd class honours and a hostile jobs market. Basically, third year has sucked the optimism out of me.
I'm a worker. I don't want to spend however an indefinite number of months back living with my parents whilst trying to find any form of gainful employment. All this would, as said before, be greatly aided by me knowing what I wanted to do: advertising, teaching, retail, hospitality, social work, political work, PR, journalism etc. The list of possible avenues is as long as one's proverbial arm, yet none of them feel like I should be pursuing them for one reason or another. Maybe it's a cliché, but I might genuinely need to spend a bit of time away from university and work, and, how to do they say "find myself". If nothing else it'd be a good excuse for a relaxing holiday.