Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Coup New Year

I've been thinking more about how I've not written any of those poems yet. I think I should write an amateur's guide to starting a coup. I've been looking further into rubbish Navy forces we could overtake, my followers. Something about the indendence of sovereign nation is to be respected. The civic pride presumably felt by the smaller and pluckier countries around the globe that get on with their business is something to admire and, clearly, be condescending about.

However, the Navy of Belize comprises of 13 boats and 152 servicemen. I don't know if each boat can seat 11.69 people, or if they are just rowboats seating 2 people each. Were they row boats, you'd need 26 people at any one time. No, let's say 39 and the spare 3rd person is firing a 1914 German made Luger at a Mexican warship. That means you have 3.897 sets of crewmen for each boat. Or a set for every row boat and 2.897 reserve crews.

I have no doubt that the average Belizian citizen does not worry too much on a daily basis about the provisions held by their armed forces. I have recently read a rather amusing article on the BBC News website about the head of the Somalian Navy: it has no boats, nor any servicemen to serve in any boats he might find. He's not been to sea in over 20 years. But still, head of the Navy he remains. I like looking this sort of thing up for two reasons. Firstly, I relish the obscure and lesser known little details. Purely for trivia's sake, I like knowing that the Ivory Coast's entire air force was once accidentally destroyed (all 3 helicopters of it) by the French in a military accident. And secondly I find the comparison, the differences amusing. I don't know how many boats the British Navy has. Probably more than 13. Let's say definitely more. And it is not with jingoistic fervour I trumpet how much better prepared we are for some horrible war we hopefully will never have to fight. I consider it more just amusing to see the underdogs on the other end of the scale. The Swazilands of this world. It's a bit like watching Accrington Stanley in the FA Cup.

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